Sherlock Holmes in The Empty Hearse (x)
Avengers + Thor: The Dark World Parallels
protect elderly substitute teachers at all costs
once I had an 80 year old sub and he rapped about science.
“Actors in any capacity, artists of any stripe, are inspired by their curiosity, by their desire to explore all quarters of life, in light and in dark, and reflect what they find in their work. Artists instinctively want to reflect humanity, their own and each other’s, in all its intermittent virtue and vitality, frailty and fallibility.”
you are not fat
you have fat
you also have fingernails
you are not fingernail
when someone stops talking to you and youre not sure what you did wrong
why am i able to relate to a broken chair right now
I WAS JUST CLEANING OUT MY BIBLE AND I FOUND THE MOST HILARIOUSLY PETULANT PARABLE
jesus is PISSED
it’s not FIG SEASON
he’s PREPARING TO DIE
so he curses a fucking tree.
Go home Jesus. You’re drunk.
maybe all this time the saying is god hates FIGS
The saddest things in the world:
-people forgotten on their birthdays
-old people eating alone
-animals left behind by their humans
"most candy is just pure sugar"
isn’t it great
Chris Hanson would be proud.
Technology is so beautiful.
true friendship is going from “look at these cute shoes” to “do you like being choked sexually” in under ten minutes